Saturday, December 08, 2007

A seaquel in the making

Have you seen this headline on MSNBC?

Singing Might Help Whales Find Themselves

I can see the direct-to-DVD release now...
Title: Free Willy 4: The Return*

Synopsis:
Fourteen years have passed since Willy made his daring escape from the Northwest Adventure theme park. But all is not whale. Despite his freedom, Willy the killer whale feels blue and out of place.

Then, one spring day, he discovers a ray of hope - music. Singing makes Willy feel like he has a porpoise in life. But his fellow orcas aren't fans of his coral arrangements, and the pod casts Willy out into the ocean on his own. Alone and hungry, Willy seas he must return to show business - even if it's no shore bet he'll net a recording contract.

But Willy's hook-laced songs quickly earn him large groupers of fans. Willy soon hires an agent, who tells him that adopting a twangy Mississippi Sound will greatly increase his sea star power. But crabby critics are knot supportive and a sail Willy's new style - krilling him in their reviews.

"He's 20,000 leagues out of his league," says one.

"Thanks to Willy's whaling, I think I've suffered a loss of herring," says another. "He can't carry a tuna in a bucket."

Willy is faced with tough questions: was his early fame only a fluke? Has his career jumped the shark? Is he at "el fin" of his days in entertainment? Or will his friendships come in to save him before it's too late?

Watch with baited breath as America's favorite killer whale tries to keep his rising tide of naysayers at bay. Willy's quest to emerge from his shell of self-trout and sing will make you eel good inside.**

*Rejected title: Free Willy 4: Yes, there actually were three before this one.
**Can you find all 31 puns/sea allusions in the synopsis?
Photo credits: Stefan Powell - the orca; Jon Bragg - the crowd; Tammy Lo - the mic stand. And speaking of Free Willy and images, while searching for pics to use for the poster, I ran across this one on Flickr: very awesome.

2 comments:

Carol said...

I can only find 30, I shore enjoyed looking for them!

CJ said...

30's impressive enough! At least two of them are embarrassingly iffy.