Monday, December 17, 2007

Love the spam. Hate the spammers.

So I got an unsolicited email from a guy who asked me a series of questions.
Date: Wed, 28 Nov 2007 09:04:48 +0200
From: x2sender_21@ccsfl.net
Reply to: John Kottelenberg (john.kottelenberg@cogeco.net)
To: ------@hotmail.com
Subject: Will You Answer

Mister,

How many times have you started something and never finished?

How often have you searched for the perfect solution and have yet to find it?

Are you looking for something simple, yet challenging?

Can You follow someone else's steps to success?

Do You believe your health can drive your life?

We are putting out the call for those whom want to be on the ground floor of a phenomenal opportunity.

Will You Answer?
The email then closed with some links. From what I gather, he was asking me to be a sales rep for some new health drink called Zrii (the somewhat shady-looking page he linked to is found here).

I was tempted to reply "None of your business,"* but instead I decided to humor** the guy and reply as follows:
Mr. Kottelenberg,

Below please find the responses to your questions. I hope they are what you were looking for.

How many times have you started something and never finished?

I'm usually pretty good about

How often have you searched for the perfect solution and have yet to find it?

Many times I have sought the ultimate grammatically correct sentence and came up empty.

Are you looking for something simple, yet challenging?

It would be more accurate to say I'm looking for something easy, yet hard.

Can You follow someone else's steps to success?


Yes. Succeeders are often succeeded by others.

Do You believe your health can drive your life?

No. I believe your health should run your life. Driving is for fat, lazy, obese people.

If my answers aid you in your quest or are wholly unsatisfactory, please do not hesitate to reply.

Warm regards,
Mister
Regrettably, though the deluge of unwanted mail continues, I have received no response from Mr. Kottelenberg. What a shame.

Incidentally, if you want to how these guys are able to send out so many emails and respond, etc., check out the service this guy apparently uses: abundantresponse.com.

What a screwed-up industry.

*HA! It's a clever pun, get it?
**HA HA! Another clever pun!

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