Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Only in Wyoming

On most occasions, I have to go to national news to pick out the insane headlines, but sometimes, well, my own local papers concoct crazy ones too.

As a general principle, I try not to rag on fellow Wyomingites; I mean they're almost like kin *insert incest cheap shot here*. However, when I saw the following headline on the front page of Wyoming's most prominent newspaper, the Casper Star Tribune, I knew it was my Unknown Knowns duty to blog about it (click for larger view).
Where do I even begin with the problems?!

First, claiming that there was any kind of water fight in Wyoming in mid-March is pretty flipping absurd. Here's the predicted weather from the day the headline ran:
Sure, the forecast called for a high just above freezing, but seriously, we Equality State folk aren't that nuts. Just because it's possible to have a water fight, doesn't mean that you should. Now if it was like forty-three degrees, then it'd be a different story.

Secondly, if you have to publish a such an ambiguous headline, you've gotta have a waaay better sub-heading than "Coal-bed methane producer must obtain easement, judge rules." I mean, that's really boring.

At the very least, they should have tried something like, "Coal-bed methane producers all washed up; judge rules current practices leave ranchers high and dry." However, an even better idea would have been to run a ridiculously crazy subheading that had nothing to do with the actual story. Like this one (click for a bigger view):
I guarantee you that if the Star Tribune had put that on the front page, they would've sold a ton more papers.

Editor's Note: If you happened to read through the actual story, you may have noticed that Wyoming is probably the only state where an attorney can get away with saying, "We'll argue that they should put it in a pipe and not dump it on Billy." I don't want to go into this too much, but in California or New York, there's no way a lawyer refers to a William P. Maycock II as "Billy."

Serious Editor's Note: You may have seen Wyoming in the headlines in recent days for the devastating 22-car pile-up that occurred in-between Rawlins and Laramie this past Sunday. I'm sure the victims and their families could use your thoughts and prayers.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Leave it to you to bring a torrent out of a trickle! How would a cowboy modify a squirt gun?

Hose yo llama?