Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Kiss This

I'll tell you what - I fear for academia as we know it when scientists have to resort to headlines like this to get readers:

Secret Sex Lives of Deep-Sea Fish Revealed
I'll tell you what, this one certainly gives a whole new meaning to "sleeping with the fishes." I mean, this stuff could "spawn" a soap opera.
"My light's always on for you, baby."

Principal fired after allegedly kissing feet
A priest at St. Anthony of Padua in Lorain said principal Robert Holloway kissed the feet of three 14-year-old boys because he lost a bet to them over a volleyball game.

The bible clearly states that any feet to be kissed must be washed first.

[A]dministrators said he took a bet too far.

Obviously, the school board's principle concern was the principal's principles.

Body found in attic of New Orleans home
Firefighters said the search dogs indicated the presence of a body almost immediately.

"This is what we were hoping for," Cataldie said.

And that's why the first thing they teach you in college is the importance of "context."

Singapore plans audacious new twisting bridge
Because the first twisting bridge fared so well.

Hearse driver arrested for biting policeman
I hate to be macabre here, but didn't the guy already have a snack in the car?

Finally, you have to admit, Adam Morrison bears a striking resemblance to Richard Kiel:
Then again, maybe it's jaws me.

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