Monday, February 27, 2006

A tissue, a tasket

Four charged in human-tissue theft ring
Thanks goodness their operation got sniffed out. When you're dealing with human tissues, everybody nose it'snot funny snuff. It definitely would've blown if those boogers hadn't gotten picked up.

More Tests Needed in Texas Ricin Scare
It now appears to be a false alarm, but when I saw this headline yesterday, I was thinking it had Pat Robertson all over it: "If the University of Texas would have had more tests and less devil-worshipping, this tragedy never would have happened!!!"

Bolton Blasts U.N. 'Sex and Corruption'
Fed up with United Nations scandal and corruption, Bolton heavily criticized the organization this weekend. Bolton was unavailable to comment, but his spokesperson had this to say about his remarks:

"Mr. Bolton is sick of U.N. 'leaders' who are failing to provide any sort of relief to the impoverished countries they're supposed to be serving. Today, you pull into a port in these nations, and even if you're just (sittin' on) the dock of the bay, you can still easily see the rampant poverty. Mr. Bolton is taking a lot of political heat for his criticism, but I assure you that it's only the well-being of poor countries like Niger, Chad, and Georgia on my mind, and on the mind of Mr. Bolton."

Conn. Man Sells Holy Hardware on eBay
Just read this one out-loud, as it's written, and you've got my thoughts on the subject.

Man sentenced for ride-by bottom slap
Man, this is just wrong - Freddie Mercury clearly said it was supposed to be the fat-bottomed girl riding the bike, not the guy.

Some people.

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