Thursday, February 23, 2006

ESPN2 Much

Yes, I'll admit, I've been watching too much TV. Again. And maybe my television observations bore you, but I can't help myself. I'm really blown away by some of the stuff I've seen in the last couple days.

You might remember that after the Super Bowl, I discussed the absurdly ridiculous Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet. I thought that programming would be the most mind-boggling I'd see until at least spring. Not so.

If you happened to check your listing for ESPN2 today, you might be surprised to see this:
In fact, one might be so surprised that one might oneself, "What in the world is Viking: The Ultimate Obstacle Course Challenge and why is it on ESPN2?!" This article has some background information.

To get a good a idea of what Viking is, imagine if you will, Spike TV's Most Extreme Elimination Challenge (MXC), but with completely serious commentary offered by ESPN personalities, and you've got a pretty good idea. Basically, the various contestants have 2 minutes to complete a rather crazy obstacle course, loosely based around a ship theme.

I could ramble on, but these shots tell it all:
Why yes, the show's introduction does feature a computer-animated monster-being-creature, why do you ask?
Competitors face a wide variety of demanding challenges......often only to meet predictably disastrous ends...
But no challenge compares to the most dreaded obstacle of all...
...the ADDITION OF DOOM!!

I made the name up, but the competitors actually have to answer a math problem in the middle of the course (ESPN Commentary: "You not only have to be strong, you have to be smart!"). I'm really not kidding.

You might ask, what does math have to do with ancient Norsemen? Eric the Red's priceless contributions to arithmetic perhaps? I'm a touch fuzzy on the details, but I do know he had a pretty substantial body count to his name. (Har!)

In my humble opinion, ESPN2 would greatly benefit from turning over a new leif.

The Viking show was pretty crazy, but I was just about as puzzled by USA's WWE promo featuring Triple H, apparently also known as "The Cerebral Assassin":
Scenes from the TV spot featuring Captain Cerebral himself...

Help me out here.

According to the second definition of the American Heritage Dictionary: cerebral - appealing to or requiring the use of the intellect; intellectual rather than emotional.

I could buy "Cerebrum Assassin". Heck, I killed brain cells watching the ad. However, looking ugly and acting dumb and angry doesn't automatically make you an intellectual; as anyone will tell you, that only qualifies you to be a radio talk show host.

Maybe I should just turn the TV off...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

"turning the TV off" - - now *there's* a cerebral thought if I ever heard one!