Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Greenspan-ning the Headlines

Greenspan's heir apparent
Apparently, Ben Bernanke won't be Greenspan's "hair" apparent.

Here's to hoping the man doesn't have any bald-spots on his resume or we may be in a for a hair-raising few years. The democrats will wig out, talking heads will comb-over his every move, and we'll all have heck toupee.

'Canned Hunts' Under Fire in S. Africa
Call them a third-world and under-developed section of the world if you will, but South Africa knows a good ketchup dispenser when it sees it. Citizens are apparently up in arms at Hunt's Tomato Ketchup (famous for its Perfect Squeeze design) abandoning it's family-friendly plastic bottling for the canned variety. Hunt's is now taking steps to "can" the new style and bring back the classic look and feel, but it's clear that with their South African consumers, they'll be playing catch-up for some time to come.

Tussle with Tonya Harding brings arrest
At first glance, I thought this was merely promotional material for Tonya's fledging boxing career, like: "Tussle with Tonya, and you'll end up with an arrest of the cardiac variety!"

EU bans birds in flu fight
A bird in the hand may be worth two in the bush, but the EU isn't beating around any bushes on this one. Not only have Mary Poppins beloved pigeons been made unwelcome in parks across Europe, things have gotten to the point where the British government is now offering a "tuppence a bag" for each sackful of dead fowl. In addition, the fear has become so pervasive the EU has also decided to irrevocably reject Turkey's bid for EU membership. Talk about being a bit on the paranoid side.

McDonald's to Post Nutrition Info on Food
Thanks to the, um, 'professional connections' between Unknown Knowns and the fast-food juggernaut, I was able to obtain this picture of the new nutrition- labeled food.

But don't worry Mickey D fans - the dye used to print the info will be edible and fat-free...two things you might say don't hold true for the food itself...


Anonymous said...

Hair's to another great *real* post!

Anonymous said...

Anonymous Yollama asks,
Are you saying that the real question regarding this new chairman of the Fed Reserve is toupee or not toupee...isn't THAT the real question!? YES this question was raised by Harry Quiverstick, but phrased differently after he assumed the pen name of William Shakepeare!

Anonymous said...

Yollama realises his spelling error in missing 's' in apologies!

Johnny said...

Yollama should also apologize for the missing "the" in his last post, unless he is just economical.