Monday, October 10, 2005

CJ Presents: How to win free stuff!

Ok, I know this is a pretty flipping long, but try to bear with me.


It's no secret that Unknown Knowns could use a serious infusion of online traffic. And it's a simple fact as well that people can use free stuff. So, with these truths in mind, the conclusion is obvious: I should give out free stuff to increase traffic. Seriously.

Now, for those of you thinking that I'm about to send you all iPods if you promise to visit again, my apologies; it's not going to be *that* awesome. However, I am going to throwing out prizes like free iTunes gift cards, free Hastings gift cards, and other super awesome items I come up with. No joke! (And yes, I'll admit that I threw the word "free" in there unnecessarily to make it sound cooler.) However, there's of course more to my promotion than just claiming a free card. That would be totally un-capitalistic...and I don't have enough money to give the 15 people who visit here a gift card of any value more than 10 cents. So that can only mean one thing - it's contest time!!!

So, here's the deal: I'm going to post a picture. But it won't be just any picture. Oh no, this will be a photo that I've edited to portray a certain meaning. It's kinda like a pictorial pun - the picture isn't just a picture, but rather a representation of phrase, idea, saying, or other expression.

A little confused? Here's a couple basic examples: if I were to post a picture of a guy standing underneath an umbrella with a bunch of canines and felines falling from the heavens, the answer I'm seeking is, "It's raining cats and dogs." Or, if I posted a picture of Mick Jagger choking two pigeons to death, the answer would be what? Why, "Killing two birds with one Stone," of course.

Hopefully you have the general idea, because it's time to move on to the rules.

The Rules
In case you haven't quite grasped it yet, the basic premise of the contest is to guess what "caption" I'm going for with my edited picture. You win by guessing the caption correctly before anyone else does.

Mr. Mosty has graciously agreed to judge all the entries for me,'m too busy. So, you'll be sending all your guesses to him, *BUT* before you do that, please read on.

This promotion is, as I mentioned above, geared to net some more traffic for Unknown Knowns and Other Ramblings, not just to get rid of CJ's money. So here's "the catch." In return for accepting your entries for the contest, I will be adding your email address to my mailing list. Now before you freak out and thinking I'm merely scamming you, um, well, don't.

First off, being on my "mailing list" merely entails that you will get a paragraph-long email telling you that I've completed a new post on Unknown Knowns with a link to the new post. That's it. Really. And if you're worried about me selling/giving your email address to evil spammers: you've got to be kidding. There are few things in life I hate more than spam. For me, it's really the golden rule: spamming is not something I want done to me, and there's no way I'd do anything like that to you. I will not disclose your email address or any other personal information to anyone. Period.

How's that for a privacy policy?

With that out of the way, allow me to elaborate on the rules.

You can submit your contest entries by emailing Mr. Mosty at with something like, "Contest" or something obvious like that in the subject line.

I have a feeling that my modified pictures may at times be hard to interpret. I mean, let's face it: most people don't think like me (thank goodness). And if you don't have any idea what I'm trying to get at, you probably won't even try to guess the caption I'm going for. So, unless the puzzle is ridiculously easy, I'm willing to offer a hint to help you solve it. Simply email Mr. Mosty ( with a subject of "clue for the contest" or "hint for the contest" or something like that. There will only be one, standardized hint for a given picture. One clue's all anyone gets.

As you may have guessed, in return for the hint, I'll be doing the same thing I would be doing for a contest entry - I'll be adding your email address to my mailing list. Obviously, I'll only be adding your email address once to my list, so any fears of a bunch of identical Unknown Known emails flooding your inbox are unfounded. So, in the event that you're already on my mailing list, well then you're officially off the hook. However, I certainly wouldn't mind it if you considered linking me on your webpage or blog or recommended the site to a friend. But, if that's not cool with you, or simply not something you feel like doing, no problem.

A few last clarifications:
If you're the first one to correctly guess the caption, I'll contact you via email and we'll figure out how to get you your prize.

The solution will be posted one week (7 days) from the time the picture was originally posted, at which point the contest is over and no one wins. I will contact Mr. Mosty right before I post, and if your email hasn't arrived, you're too late. I doubt that will be much of an issue.

IMPORTANT: For your answer to be correct, you must get the spelling correct! For example, in Punny Pic contest #2, the correct answer was "Exercising my demons". "Exorcising my demons" would be an incorrect respsonse. Sound dumb? Perhaps, but hey, it's my game.

Also, please do *NOT* post your guess(es) as a comment anywhere on the site. I plan on disabling comments for the picture post itself, but please don't post your guesses anywhere on Unknown Knowns. While I can't really care if you consult others, I'd ask you didn't do it here. Thanks.

Mr. Mosty and myself are ineligible to win. I'm not that lame.

If you win a contest, you are ineligible for the next one. Just to make things a little more equal.

To give credit where it's due: I do my photo-editing with open-source juggernaut The GIMP. It's a terrific piece of software - basically a free, legal version of Photoshop. I highly recommend it as well as Paint.NET.

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Email Mr. Mosty, post a comment in the form of a question, or send me an email.

Hope you have fun with this; I know, it's hard to imagine having fun after this much introductory rambling, but I think it'll be a good time. Enjoy.


Steven said...

and your first comment is SPAM. Ah hahaha.

This is quite the interesting prospect. One thing you didn't note, are Mr. Mosty and you disqualified? Every privacy policy I've seen for a contest specifically states that all employees and affliates may not take part in the winnings.

Anonymous said...

Golly, if you and Mr. Mosty are disqualified, does that mean your *mom* as well??????
Hope that doesn't slow traffic down instead...

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I hate spam.

The privacy policy is now fixed, just for you Steve.

Well mom, since I don't think you have any interest in an iTunes card....