So let's just say, I'm not loving it *insert cliched McDonald's joke here*.
Upon doing some extensive research, it would appear that today is *NOT* my first anniversary. Whoops. It actually was last Wednesday. My bad. Hey, Switchfoot's new CD comes out today, so why shouldn't my anniversary fall on such a great day?! Besides, if I look at the positives, I'm gonna have a bullet-proof excuse if I ever get married and miss my anniversary then too ("Honey, now don't be upset, I mean, I even missed the first anniversary of my own personal website, and that was at least as important as this one!").
I suppose there's a lesson to be learned here as well, like, that I should never try to hype anything I'm going to blog, because 1) it's usually much ado about nothing, 2) traffic is about the same regardless of what I say, and 3) most importantly, I never meet my own hype (i.e. Tune in Monday for a posting bonanza! Monday: Um...here's a poem I wrote about what I'm going to do next time!). *sigh*
If it wasn't for the fact that I never post when I say that I'm going to, I'd probably be really embarrassed and disappointed. However, I'm not like that. Despite the odds, despite the many obstacles, in spite of the hordes of psychological fiends determined to derail my ambition, I *will* carry on, I WILL OVERCOME!!!
*So tune every single day this week to catch the most spectacular prose, satire, and hilarity you've ever seen at any point in your entire life!!!*
HA! Just kidding. It takes me at least three paragraphs to forget today's life lessons. Simply put, I have some ideas, and I'm sticking with them. Look for some postings soon.
And just as an act of good faith (and as a hope that I didn't completely waste your time), I offer the following:
Bounty Placed on Heads of Iraqi Leaders
Citing the comfortable thickness of the Quilted Quicker Picker Upper, Iraqi leaders today followed the lead of their neighbors the Saudis in acquiring turbans, but traded in the traditional cloth head garb for the paper variety. One ambassador heralded the move, remarking, "We need all the help we can get in cleaning up this insurgency."
Laugh if you all want, but you can't help but note the striking similarities between Yassir Arafat's noggin's apparel, and Bounty's new Streak Free Glass and Surface paper towels.
Coincidence? No way.
And don't forget to look for Michael Moore's latest, "Bush, Bounty, and Saudis" in bookstores this winter!