Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Suitable for all ages

I must first say that my posts may continue to be sporadic - but that's because I'm about to try and undertake the most exciting and ambitious project of my blogging career. I'm not going to go into details, but it involves lots and lots of work, so stay tuned.

Jay-Z's Countersuit Thrown Out

I don't care if it was the dude's counter-suit, table-dancing-suit, or Sunday-go-to-meetin'-suit, the thing definitely deserved to be thrown out.

Suspected terrorist Posada arrested
Suspected?! That big-eared moron (and please tell me you knew he was the one on the left...) has been terrorizing the Nation for years. With all apologies to my mother for more language - I must say - he sucks.

L.A. Voters Choosing Mayor
Ah. With all the troubles in Iraq, it's nice to see that democracy is progressing along nicely in California after the whole Schwarzenegger fiasco.

Study: Kudzu helps curb binge drinking
I think this news can serve as a inspiration for us all: if that dumb, tree killing kudzu can serve a useful purpose, I think it's pretty safe to say that you can too.

Jet from Italy to Boston diverted to Maine
You have to wonder - what happens to Maine?! I mean seriously, "Oh, hi, Mainites. Yeah, since we don't want these terrorists in Boston, and since you guys are far less important than us Massachuesettsians, uh, thanks and good luck!"

U.S. Arrests Exile Hours After Cuban March
Cuba's dictatorship has often been criticize as being backwards and behind the times. Yesterday further proof was offered as Cuba, on the 17th of May, finally put the month of March behind them.

History, judges at stake in Senate
Many have viewed the justice system's transformation from spontaneous medieval witch-hunts to the decades of endless legal appeals we have today as a cycle due to come full circle. If recent events are any indication, it would appear those views were correct. With the Supreme scheduled to be burned at the stake sometime this week in the Senate chambers, it would seem that the judges and the accused have merely switched places.

Students' muffin headed for space
No jokes here. I know it seems more suited for Jimmy Neutron, or Hardware Wars, but this apparently is for real.

Bees Wiped Out by Cascade of Deadly Events
Bees across the United States have succumbed in recent years to a treacherous alien mite that invaded the country two decades ago.

As if you needed proof that journalists working for were nerdy, I offer the above. Seriously, who else would first off, use "Cascade of Deadly Events" instead of a "Series of Unfortunate Events"? Only a person who spends so much time on the computer that they no nothing of pop-culture (...or someone who wants to be more original). However, the whole "treacherous alien mite that invaded the country two decades ago" is completely nerd-city. Insert "army" or "armada" for "mite", and you've got a Sci-Fi Picture's un-original in the making. Of course, by having an opinion on Sci-Fi Channel original, I suppose I've already identified myself as a geek, so I probably ought to quit while I'm still quasi-cool.


Anonymous said...

OK, I'm dying of curiosity now... what is this big undertaking????? Don't make us wait any longer!!! I'm holding my breath (and turning blue....)

ManNMotion said...

He's back! (sort of)

I thought you'd moved to Maine or something...

Steven said...

I await your big undertaking!

I also have to admit that when I first saw the headline, Suspected Terrorist Posada Arrested... I was thinking Jorge Posada.

Anonymous said...

ALL your fans need to know about this exciting undertaking - don't make us wait any longer!
Love, Mom