Monday, May 23, 2005

An Introduction to the Big Project: The Guide to Blogs

Let's face it people: there are a lot of blogs out there. You may be wondering how many blogs are there really out there? And I may be counter-wondering, who really cares? After all, isn't Unknown Knowns the only blog you'll ever need? However, as I would rather not take a serious ego blow, I believe I won't wonder that. Instead, I'll give you a real, honest answer: I don't know. Heck, I'd bet even Mr. Mosty doesn't know*, but the guys at Blogcount.com appear to have dedicated their lives to it...which may answer the whole "who really cares" question...nerds...

But this is all pointless. The real point is, as mentioned before, there are a lot of blogs out there. And if you're like me, you really don't have time/seriously don't feel like browsing through tens of millions of people's page's, but you do at least kinda want to know what's out there. This would, at first glance, appear to be an impassable paradox. However, I've discovered the solution to the problem.

Here at Unknown Knowns, I try my best to, um, well, I don't know what, but I do try to do something sometimes. Anyway, to get the point: I've spent lots of time browsing blogs (though admittedly mostly Blogspot blogs). In my time browsing, I've noticed that Blogs are often like triplets: when you've seen one, you've seen 'em all. There are certain categories that blogs fall into, with annoyingly few exceptions. And I mean annoyingly.

So, the question now becomes, what do I plan to do with my blog knowledge? Will I share it? Will I just leave everyone hanging? Yes and yes: this project is far too important not to share, and far too big to post now and all at once. Now you might be thinking, 1) this post, which apparently doesn't have anything all that interesting, is getting pretty dang long, or 2) what in the world is going to make writing a few words about blog types take all that much time?! Well, 1) I feel your pain. Really. I'm tired, and getting pretty sick of typing, and 2) herein lies the "big" part of my "big project." Merely describing blog types is boring. I can use all the "action" verbs and "explosive" and "exquisite" adjectives I want, but description alone just isn't going to cut it. No friends, I'm going to show you the various blog types, which I will from now on refer to as "blategories" (Hey, stupid blog jargon has to start somewhere...). Call it tell and show, if you will. You may not, however, call it garbage...yet.

As unbelievable and utterly confusing as it sounds, my guide to blategories will be a great way for you to read millions of blogs without reading millions of blogs. Through the wonders of consolidation and rather embarrassingly massive stereotyping, I can bring you the musings of the masses in as small a mass as possible.

So sit back, relax, and prepare yourself for a guide to the entire known blogosphere, right here, on Unknown Knowns and Other Ramblings.

Here is a quick overview of what I'll be covering. If you'd rather be surprised with new blategories, don't read any further.

Blategories to Be Covered:
(in no particular order)

The Adolescent/Pre-teen/Teen Blog, The 'Epic Quest' Blog,
The Knitting-Stay-at-Home-Mom Blog, The Spam Blog, The Foreign Blog,
The Political Blog, The Unfinished Blog, and perhaps more...


DISCLAIMERS: 1) Not all blogs fit these blategories. 2) CJ may be lazy and slow in completing this project. 3) CJ may be lazy and slow in general. 4) CJ believes that reading this blog will make you cool, but others may not. 5) CJ does not suggest that reading this blog will make you rich or better looking. 6) Ok, fine, just to cover my tail: CJ does not really guarantee anything. At all. Ever.

*EDIT: Mr. Mosty has informed me, that yes, he did know how big the blogosphere was. CJ regrets the error.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

If this is your idea of an introduction, you really should try writing a book. The you'd really be the most famous CJ.
good luck with the blypes.
Ginger

Anonymous said...

re: Suitable for all ages
Are they Mainites, or Mainiacs?

Steven said...

Not to get you off of your quest, but I discovered a typo in your post. It seems that you don't know it, that is it I believe.

Heck, I'd bet even Mr. Mosty doesn't know*, but it the guys at Blogcount.com appear to have dedicated their lives to it...

Steven said...

Oh and my blog wouldn't be featured would it? Because I'm not paying for any advertisement space.

Nate-Dawg said...

I'm not gonna lie, I'm quite curious as to what all this is going to be like. Creative name, too... quite catchy...

Oh, and Steve, have you no shame? At least I try not to push my blog all around everywhere. Honestly...