Wednesday, April 20, 2005

What *have* I been up to?

So, I promised a sweet new post detailing my activities in the past month. And here it is in a most photo-tabulous fashion.

Some might make the assumption that this long blog silence was due to plain laziness. That assumption is ridiculous. At most, the silence has been due to just "some" laziness. Not willing to take me at my word? Fine. I'll prove to you just how productive and worthy my actions have been over the past month.

First, I shaved off this fairly scruffy looking goatee...

...and re-dedicated myself to maintaining a pretty professional, sharp, clean-shaven look at all times...

....umm, let me promise you that under that obviously very classy t-shirt, I am most certainly as smooth as a dolphin's torso. Just trust me...

Perhaps I should move on.

So, I've also once again engaged myself in many online activities of self betterment.

Keep in mind readers that revealing one's online identity is like a superhero revealing their secret identity - it's a deeply personal decision. But you're all worth it. Even if the decision really wasn't deeply personal.

And um, mom, if you're reading this, don't look at the "Hours" column. Please.

Uh, I think it's time once again to move on.

Now, In addition to bettering myself, I've also rescued many damsels in distress in these dire days. Don't believe me? Well, I have proof - a picture of me in action. Just look at this:

Seriously, can you ask for more concrete evidence of a good deed well done? Heck, because of me, this poor girl was able to "escape from the clutches of the evil monsters." One can rest easy at night with knowledge like that. How could you even begin to question this feat?

Ok, so I'll admit that I look a little funny in this picture, and bear a slight resemblance to Link of the Zelda series, and I'll admit that it's certainly unusual for a damsel's speech thanks to appear in a text box, but, I was, ummm, in a SAP-enabled area...?

You may be thinking my accomplishments are inconsequential (and let me tell you, that maiden doesn't think so...), but before you get too critical, I have to tell you, it's quite the responsibility being the most famous CJ Baker in the world. Seriously.

Since you all seem unimpressed, it's time to get the good stuff. Without a doubt, my proudest accomplishment in this time-period has been the formation of a beyond-awesome, brand new band with a sound that this world has never heard before.

Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to formally introduce you to Nervous Twitch and the Five Dollar Nukes. In the audio clip that follows, Twitch, pictured below, lends their extraordinary talent to a moving and powerful cover of The Turtles timeless feel-good hit: Happy Together.

this is an audio post - click to play
Nervous Twitch and the Five Dollar Nukes: Happy Together
(from left to right) Nate-Dawg (vocal backup), me (lead vocals), and Steve (rhythm section)

I'll tell you what, if you're not impressed at this point, you never will be (c'mon, an all-kazoo band doesn't awe you?!). As you've clearly seen, lives have been changed, in the case of Unreal Tournament ended, and even saved by my actions this past month.

Somehow, I get the feeling that you're all not convinced. Ok, ok, I get the point: normal posts will be starting up again soon, though first, I believe your friend and mine, Mr. Mosty, will be showing up to explain what he's been up to.

I hope you enjoyed this incredibly intimate post revealing my innermost hopes and dreams. It certainly wasn't easy, but I know that those who read this are worth it.

Until next time, do something productive.


Steven said...

People magazine says, "This band puts an end to the long held era of the guitar."

Newsweek calls it a "Hit to behold for the future of music."

SNL says, "The only thing missing was the cowbell!"

Anonymous said...

Now *THAT* is going to be hard to top, no matter WHAT Mr. Mosty has been up to!

Anonymous said...

I think you have outbeat The Turtles!!

Anonymous said...

Loved the styling! For your next production how about Freebird?!!!

Anonymous said...

Quite impressive - but check this out:
In case you've been wondering what to do with those empty TP rolls.....

Anonymous said...

hey! that is some awesome music! and i like the pic of you hiding, fun!

Anonymous said...

hey! that is some awesome music! and i like the pic of you hiding, fun!