Monday, March 14, 2005

A weak week? I sure hope not.

This week, I've got some time, and I'm aiming for a post a day. And, as a special kick-off bonus, I'm introducing a new, probably temporary, "Pick the Caption" feature. Enjoy, and wish me luck...I'll probably need it.

Syrian-Backed Hizbollah Rallies Against U.S.

It's evident that Hizbollah has some big backers - no small feet to be taken lightly.

Applegate Breaks Foot in 'Sweet Charity'
Well, I think this offers irrefutable proof that blonde actors can in fact be as ditzy in real life as they are on stage. Everyone knows that in acting you break a leg - not a foot.

Blackberry to Expand Instant Messaging
That's right, the PDA company has decided to broaden it's instant messaging horizons. According to company representative, enlarged service will allow Blackberry owners to digitally give others the raspberry.

Gambling Interests Funded DeLay Trip
While none of the leader's cohorts have come forward to give the Republican a hand, it appears to be a bad deal for all involved. Apparently, DeLay's gambling amigos forgot to calculate the odds of getting caught. "Craps!" said one friend, who requested to remain anonymous, when informed of DeLay's dilemma. DeLay, looking rather flush-ed, expressed concern for his wife's wellbeing: "She's his queen, his hearts desire. They're two-of-a kind, and Mr. DeLay hopes that no one will kick or poker while she's down. Likewise, Mr. DeLay hopes that no one will go bother his Antes, Uncles or other family members at this troublesome time," said a spokesperson for the congressman. DeLay urged his supporters not to send flowers or cards and instead focus on the 2008 Republican bid for the White House.

I'd also like to give out some awards for today's various headlines:

Most (Probably) unintentionally Liberal Headline:
Analysis: Bush's choice of words is telling
Strategery. Need I say more?

The Un-Pulitzer Prize:
Won't Ban Junk-Food Ads for Kids, Official Says
Is something I've never taken 'writing fluency class'?

Xenophobe Award:
Chain Saw Thins Flocks of Migrants on Gold Wings
Got migrating motorcycling Mexicans on your property? Talk to *your* local STIHL dealer today!!!

Most Bizarre Headline Not Found in the "Bizarre Headlines" Section:
Russian Communists Turn to Text Messaging
I dunno, it just strikes me as kinda funny. Can't you just picture it?

"Accept incoming transmission from Commie_Comrade48?"

That's just weird.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

LOVE the Bill Clinton "post-a-caption" - - is there any way to leave a blank one for write-in ideas??
No weak week for Unknown Knowns!!

CJ said...

I'm afraid there isn't any way to leave write-ins that I know of, but anyone is more than welcome to post any new captions as a comment and then I'll add them to the poll if you wish.

Of course, if it's something inappropiate or obscene (and I understand that a picture of Clinton could lend itself to something like that), I'd ask you keep it to yourself.