Thursday, March 03, 2005

Because I have to post something...

I've heard Fox News called biased beyond belief and President Bush's lapdog, but this is just plain stupid. I found this story a little disconcerting:

In the FOXLight

Bob Newhart to appear on 'Desperate Housewives'

Is it just me, or has Bob changed just a little since I was a kid?

Bush, Kerry Reunited Over Baseball
"So, like, what took you so long?" Bush asked (of the Boston Red Sox at a reception honoring their World Series victory).

From this quote, I can only assume that the Bush speaking was like totally either Barbara or Jenna.

In addition, Bush and Kerry agreed that Doug "CJ's-going-to-spell-his-name-how-he-feels-like" Meionoignegzatz has no real claim to the World Series baseball.

Republicans Attack Democrats, AARP on Pensions
"It is incredibly irresponsible to try to convince the American people that there is no problem. It is incredibly irresponsible for the AARP to be against a solution that hasn't even been written yet," House Majority leader Tom DeLay said after a closed-door meeting with Republican members of the House of Representatives.

However, defending a solution that hasn't been written yet is unbelievably responsible.

Prenatal Mercury Exposure Lowers IQ, Costs U.S. Billions
After coming under heavy fire for paying off media commentators to support Bush education programs, it appears once again the Bush Administration is in hot water. Many democrats have called into question a recent study, questioning Presidential financial intervention. Said one irate liberal, "Tying 'prenatal mercury exposure' to the national deficit?! Maybe that would fly on another planet, but I'm not going to buy it."

Supreme Court Bans Execution of Juveniles
Dealing a massive blow to irate mothers across the nation, threatening your teenager that "you're going to kill them" is no longer any more than a hollow threat.

Abused baby leaves hospital
After being called "sweetie," "honey," and "sugar-buns," one too many times by on-duty nurses, 30 unsuccessful IV hook-up attempts, choking on cafeteria food ,and losing the few hairs on his body from repeated, careless, tape removal, the baby checked itself out.

Greenspan: Economy OK But Watch Deficits
I believe Greenspan was referring to Bush's "Attention Deficit Disorder" that probably ignored everything Greenspan said after "the economy's OK."

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Be thankful, Mr. I-Should-Be-Studying, that "I'm going to kill you" is indeed a hollow threat.....