First, some quick awards I've gotta give out before embarking on the 'full-fledged' commentary:
Obviously Not a
China Warns Journalists Who Take Bribe
Most Likely to End Up as an X-Files Episode Award:
FDA orders killer hospital beds to be seized
Most unintentionally sexually suggestive headline:
Biggest Study of GMO Finds Impact on Birds, Bees
The birds and the bees? A study on "rapeseed?" That's just too weird for me.
And finally, the "No Flipping Duh" Prize goes to...
Document: Bin Laden Evaded U.S. Forces
You don't say.
Activists slam Canada on seal hunt
I don't care what you think of the guy, this is preposterous. Kiss From a Rose wasn't *that* bad.
Macintosh Hacker Attacks Are on the Rise -Symantec
Ok, so if hackers are working are working to thwart virus-stoppers efforts, does that make them anti-Symantec?
Giants' Bonds Blames Media for Troubles
Yes Barry, your knee problems and steroid use are clearly the media's fault. Good one. Just when I thought I'd heard the media blamed for everything...
Comedian Testifies in Jackson Trial
How unsurprisingly fitting.
Parker Bowles Doesn't Want to Be Queen
She has one awkward last name for a queen. Talk about a weird headline.
Church Tapped to Square Off Against Spidey
Apparently offended by Spidey's lack of commitment to MJ in the first two movies, the Church has decided to call for a complete boycott of the upcoming (upcoming: sometime in the next 5 years) Spiderman 3.
Apple Could See Near Doubling of Market Share
Berrying gloomy projections by raisin profits, pearing expenditures, and driving competitors bananas, Apple appears to be in firm control of the music industry. "This year's been a peach," said one Apple exec, "The kiwi believe has led to our success is avoiding plum investments and finding the grape ones. Our mango is to create a solid future for the company while stifling the competition. We cherry-ish any opportunity to tell our competitors to get in lime. Some executives in the cold winter months might be found sipping hot coco-nut us. We at Apple refuse to be lemons and simply follow everyone else." For more information, the executive urges interesting persons to sign up for the company's melon list.