Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Why am I surprised it's been so long? And why am I shocked my post's so long?

Today, we, er...I, offer for your consideration these two headlines, issued by Rueters two hours apart:

At 1:28 PM Eastern time:
Bush Says Talk of U.S. Attack on Iran 'Ridiculous'

And then at 3:46:
Bush Says Talk of Attacking Iran 'Ridiculous'

Lesser minds might think these eerily similar headlines are just the same story being told in slightly different ways. But I for one, am not falling for that. Obviously, reporters were being careful to avoid any confusion and get the truth, once and for all. Now we can say with confidence that neither the United States, nor George Bush himself, will attack Iran. However, this quote troubled me:

"This notion that the United States is getting ready to attack Iran is simply ridiculous," Bush said on Tuesday. "Having said that, all options are on the table."

Ok, help me out here: is Bush saying that "being ridiculous" is officially an option on the table?!

Nurses take on Schwarzenegger
"He behaves like an arrogant patriarch with respect to women's occupations," said Rose Ann De Moro, executive director of the California Nurses Association.

Alright - am I the only one here who finds that quote incredibly hilarious? Does that not strike anyone else as a "Kerry-esque" quote?

U.N. to Probe Lebanon Bomb
Bush crosses fingers.

Images Show Ice on Mars
No kidding. That's old news. Here's one I found just by using good ole Google:


Bush Praises Modest Pledge From NATO
Bush last week addressed Europeans on the importance of ties, and apparently with no little effect. Today, in a move heralded by President Bush, NATO pledged to put an end to skimpy workplace attire. As one NATO official said, "Casual Friday has gotten just a little too casual. In fact, all the days have gotten a little too casual. Speedos and coconut bikinis simply aren't appropriate at work." Scottish representatives are expected to appeal the inclusion of kilts on the "banned clothing" list.

Winn-Dixie Seeks Bankruptcy Protection
Apparently, the movie really was that bad

Bush to Meet Schroeder Despite Quarrels
In spite of the President's feelings that Schroeder was in the wrong in his dealings with Lucy, Bush believes that Schroeder should put their personal differences between them (Schroeder a die-hard Beethoven follower, Bush an avid Mozart fan) and let by-gones be by-gones. As an official familiar with the two's relationship said Tuesday, "In the grand scheme of things, Bush and Schroeder realize their squabbles are really nothing more than Peanuts."

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