If there's anyone out there that reads this blog on a regular basis, I apologize. I have been, by and large, flat-out swamped. And I'm still swamped. But I promise I'll really get it together soon. Consider this a peace offering.
US National Guard mud-wrestler demoted
After falling to "Ugly" Steve, "Mean" Bob was forced to give up his mud-wrestling champion tiara.
Study links juice, chubby children
Wow. This has gotten quite ridiculous. Major league players need to wake up and see the enormous impact they have on our nation's youth. What pathetic role models.
Britney Spears Sues Insurance Companies
Well, I don't think she has that much of a case. I mean, can you really blame them for not wanting to insure her career?
Cheney won't run for president in 2008
Dealing a big blow to conservative hopes for a easy ride into the White House in 2008, the supreme court ruled today that technically Cheney has already served two terms as president and is therefore ineligible.
Politicians seek ban on graphic video games
Wanting to return the world of video gaming back to the glory days of old, legislators are now pressing to ban graphic video games. Get ready to welcome back those beloved text-based adventures.
Bush Sends $2.57T Budget to Congress
Sen. John Kerry Bush's defeated Democratic presidential opponent, said Bush had reached "new lows of fiscal irresponsibility" by proposing a spending plan that "takes cops off the street, hurts veterans and punishes school children while saddling future generations with record budget deficits and mountains of debt."
Kerry never ceases to confuse me with his duplicity. First he gives Bush a compliment, and then accuses him of harming our nation?! What's the deal?! Am I simply misinterpreting him or something? Because I'm pretty sure that "lowering irresponsibility" is a good thing, but unless Kerry is a bigger anti-war drug-using hippie than I thought, I'm just about positive that taking cops off the street and hurting veterans is a really bad thing. Very weird.
And don't forget to email firstname.lastname@example.org with all your questions!