Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Slavery is wrong. Unless it's economically desirable.

MetLife to Buy Travelers for $11.5 Bln
Apparently, with worries over the national deficit growing, and MetLife's need for a substantial boost in inexpensive manpower, the United States Customs Department and the insurance juggernaut have reached a landmark agreement. According to the contract, leaked by an anonymous source familiar with the deal, the customs department will be selling captured illegal immigrants into MetLife's possession. Some expressed ethical concerns over the enslavement of millions, but they were soon put at ease when reminded that President Bush's plan will soon make them all legal anyway.

TV show prompts warning from utilities
Talk about an embarrassing blow to reality TV powerhouse "Fear Factor." From what I gather, the electric company warned the show to "quit wasting power" or else. Ouch.

No 'Axis of Evil' Expected
Political correspondents have gathered that, in this year's State of the Union, the President, rather then threaten nations with a place on the dreaded "Axis of Evil," will instead urge them to join the "Circle of Life."

Sen. Clinton Collapses During Appearance
In September, Clinton's 58-year-old husband underwent quadruple bypass surgery.

Hmm... I have to say I'm a little behind the times. For the life of me, I simply can not remember who her husband is. I seem to have a faint recollection of someone famous in the political sphere undergoing quadruple bypass surgery, but the name eludes me....oh, DUH, of course! How could I forget? After all, Hillary's husband is pretty famous, and pretty dang powerful too. However, as much as I hate to nitpick, I think they got his month and age wrong. (Are you lost? You'd better click the "DUH" link)

*Special thanks to ManNMotion for pointing out this story*

U.S. students say press freedoms go too far
Says Jack Dvorak, director of the High School Journalism Institute at University in Bloomington, the survey "confirms what a lot of people who are interested in this area have known for a long time..."

Yup. That the media can be a serious pain in the neck.

Jackson Stands Before Prospective Jurors
Outside, several hundred fans from around the world pressed up against a chain-link fence and shouted words of encouragement, holding up signs that read, "Dear God, Please Give Michael Justice" and "France Supports and Loves MJ."

Wow. Talk about some serious mixed messages from the first guy - verbally supporting Michael while at the same time bearing a sign asking God to give him justice. And I'm seriously hoping that the MJ on the second sign stands for Michael Jordan. However, some political analysts suggested that the man bearing the second sign was actually a conservative on a smear campaign. I mean seriously, if America was up in arms over France not supporting us in Iraq, what do you think the public would do if we were to discover that France is supporting Michael Jackson.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Wow, you are updating a lot. Nice work!
Your "axis of evil" link is incorrect.
feel free to delete this after you fix it.