Thursday, January 27, 2005

Why oh Wi

FBI: Boston terror tip was a false alarm
That's right Sox fans, the rumor that George Steinbrenner had purchased the Boston nine was all just a sick joke. A very sick joke.

Bush Orders an End to Hiring Columnists
Many critics have drawn comparisons of Bush's "scare tactics" to those of former Senator Joseph McCarthy, and today, those similarities only grew in magnitude. As one incensed liberal protestor bellowed from the base of the Capitol Building, "McCarthy wanted our beloved melting pot of freedom to stop hiring communists, and now Bush wants to stop hiring columnists!"

A fellow left-wing sympathizer quickly took him aside and explained that this was indeed a good thing for our wonderful nation.

Bush Urges Iraqis to Vote, Lowers Expectations
You know, I don't think it's a great sign when your attempts at encouragement lower expectations. Just a thought.

Bush: I have 'planted the flag of liberty'
Ummm, maybe the rules are different for liberty flags, but if that was an American flag, that's a serious breach of etiquette.

McDonald's obesity suit revived
Apparently, during the quaindouripruple bypass surgery, cardiopulmonary resuscitation was needed to revive this "big" lawsuit.

Alphabet soup of Wi-Fi choices
Not sure what to fix for your little geek? Well, wonder no more. Campbell's soup, seeking to reach the more computer-oriented consumers turned off by the NFL player promos, announced today the arrival of their latest product: Wi-Fi soup. The soup, featuring strands of binary code and html snippets, is Campbell's way of welcoming the online community to a healthy alternative to the fatty foods often snacked on by computer users.

Israel sources: Targeted killings to end
That's right. "We recognize it's time to move on," said one Israeli official, "So, from now on we're just going to play it by ear."

Harry Potter mom gives birth to girl Mackenzie
Harry Potter has a new-born sister?! That's the dumbest thing I've heard. Get over it Potter-heads, Harry's mom is very dead.

1 comment:

ManNMotion said...

LOL if only someone could actually get a rumor started that Steinbrenner was buying the Red Sox. I know of at least three people who would drop dead on the spot. The rest of these were great. If THE ECONOMIST decided to have a monthly humor section, I hope they hire you. Ever think about sending them a link to review and let them know they need to give you a monthly page?