Wednesday, November 10, 2004

T.A.W.T.M.T.L.A.I.C.S. (There Are Way Too Many Three-Letter Acronyms, I Counted Six)

Airlines Agree to Drinking Water Tests
The Air Transport Association (aka the ATA?), which represented the airlines in Tuesday's agreement, said in a statement, "Our members wanted to address once and for all questions the EPA raised about airline drinking water."

Also, they wanted to address all the other questions the EPA officials had. Here's ten of the more important ones:
1) Exactly where does the waste from airborne toilets really go?
2) Is airline food supposed to deter terrorists or something?
3) Can you really fit a whole lunch in those tiny barf bags?
4) Is it possible to get a personal copy of the safety video?
5) If you're a male flight attendant, does that make you a sissy?
6) Can we have our nailclippers back yet?
7) What really goes on in first class seating?
8) Why do fat people and whiny babies love flying so much?
9) Are we there yet?
10) Isn't it ironic you pay hundreds of dollars for a plane ticket, and then get peanuts for your money?

Airbus Pursues Tanker Contract
"We are doing all that is necessary to be a real player in this competition," said Ralph Crosby, a former Northrop Grumman Corp. (NGC?) executive who is head of EADS' North American operations.

They're not messing around either, folks. They have already nominated their current CEO as a candidate for the vice presidency in 2008.

"We do not intend to be a stalking horse."

Wow. They are dedicated....ok, I'll admit it - I have no idea what a stalking horse is. Back in my day, all we had to worry about were rocking horses. I think maybe he got a little too carried away with the whole "Chucky" craze with possessed toys. Now, a stalking rabbit, that would be scary.

Court: Drunken Driving Doesn't Warrant Deportation
"Drunk driving is a nationwide problem, as evidenced by the efforts to legislatures to prohibit such conduct and impose appropriate penalties," wrote Chief Justice William Rehnquist in an 11 page opinion Tuesday.

Props to the justice for sticking to U.S. ideals. Seriously, what's more American than a DWI? I can't think of a better way to prove you're a true patriot.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Your list of questions for the airline industry made me laugh out loud!! Now that was one of your very best!!