McCartney to headline Super Bowl show
They'd better be careful. Because if Paul McCartney's shirt comes off, I think the fines will definitely be higher.
Chile cancels Bush dinner after security dispute
After a heated exchange over whether or not the Chilean foods were safe to eat, frustrated Chilean officials called the whole thing off with both sides still angry. "I thought we were going to be eating chili, I mean after all we are in..." said one Secret Service agent before being cut off by his supervisor. The agent was asked to remain anonymous.
The Chilean cooks, however, had a different take. "They were just trying to make sure that (President) Bush didn't sound stupid butchering his order," said the head chef, "We have heard some of his speeches in English, so we were really looking forward to tonight. What a letdown."
Obesity Tied to Lack of Sleep
I coulda told you that! All those people ever do is eat!
Rice undergoes surgery
That's it. Genetic engineering has gone too far when we have to perform operations on our food. Seriously, that's just creepy.
Bush Paints Rosy Picture of Iraq Situation
My goodness, just when I thought we would make it through a presidency without an affair or scandal, here comes this. President Bush's mysterious mistress "Rosy" was apparently the recipient of his recent painting of the Iraqi war which he, according to verifiable sources in the White House, affectionately named: "Four More Years." Laura Bush could not be reached for comment.
Grand Canyon Flooded to Restore Beaches
At first I was little confused by how this would work, but then I realized it was simply an application of the chaos theory. "When a canyon is flooded in Arizona, California beaches get cleaner." Ah yes, you gotta love science.