Friday, October 29, 2004

Will your next president blow? It may come down to the (high) wire.

Bush, Kerry Trade Charges on Leadership
"A president cannot blow in the wind," Bush said in a stinging reference to Kerry.

Ah yes, but as one Kerry spokesman countered, "No one, president or senator, can spit in the wind."

In neighboring Ohio, the four-term Massachusetts senator called on his rival to "start taking responsibility for the mistakes that you've made."

Apparently, Kerry was mistaken, because George W. Bush does NOT make mistakes. It's just a fact. I believe "George Bush is always right" is found word for word under section 256 of the USA PATRIOT Act. (By the way, that's not in capitals for emphasis, it's all one big acronym. Seriously. Look it up (or just click the link...))

FBI Investigating Halliburton Contracts
Said honorary FBI member Dick Cheney, heading the investigation...

HA! I'm just kidding...I think...

FBI agents this week sought permission to interview Bunnatine Greenhouse, the Army Corps of Engineers' chief contracting officer who went public last weekend with allegations that her agency unfairly awarded KBR, a Halliburton subsidiary, no-bid contracts worth billions of dollars for work in Iraq, according to documents obtained by The Associated Press. "I think it (the FBI interview request) underscores the seriousness of the misconduct, and it also demonstrates how courageous Ms. Greenhouse was for stepping forward," said Stephen Kohn, one of her attorneys.

I completely agree. You've got to be courageous to step forward with a name like that. Bunnatine Greenhouse?! I don't even know where to start with that one...

Bush Leads Kerry by Two Points - Reuters Poll
"It's close, it's close, it's close," pollster John Zogby said. "The candidates are locked in a dead heat among Catholics, young voters, voters over 70, men and women, and independents."

The only group that seems to have been wrapped up is the Voodoo-practicing-middle-aged-transgender-facist population, carried overwhelmingly by the ticket of P.T. Barnum and J.A. Bailey.

In other words, what I think Zogby is really trying to say, is that it's close.

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