I know it's late and I still have to read The Oresteia, but I couldn't resist...
Survey: U.S. to Rein in Holiday Spending
Umm...very funny. I think this is a typo. I think the actual headline is supposed to be: U.S. to Reign in Holiday Spending. But it could just be me...
Elton John Takes Blasts Madonna for Lip-Synching
Seriously, poor Madonna. Poor Madonna's lips. I mean come on, first she's criticized for her lip-lock, and now lip-synching? This is getting a little tiresome. I think we can all agree that we've all had just about enough of her lip.
Nobel Prize Winner for Physics to Be Named
Uh, and this is news? Is this opposed to previous years when they tried to use psychic telepathic powers to communicate the winner? According the article: Alfred Nobel, the wealthy Swedish industrialist and inventor of dynamite who endowed the prizes, left only vague guidelines for the selection committee. In his will, he said the prize should be given to those who "shall have conferred the greatest benefit on mankind" and "shall have made the most important discovery or invention within the field of physics."
I think this clears up why this is big news - never before has some nerdy physics discovery actually benefitted mankind.
Anheuser-Busch to Debut Souped-Up Beer
Though some parents were upset by the move, Campbell's Soup and Anheuser-Busch reached a ground-breaking agreement, creating Chicken Noodle Beer. Mmmm, mmm, good. Actually, the new beer, called B-to-the-E, will be slightly sweet but tart, coming in the aromas of blackberry, raspberry and cherry. Worried that the days of good ol' beer are soon disappearing? Not to worry. The traditional beer scent of "Smells like Crap(TM)" will still be available.
Hot stops top Bush's week
One Kerry spokeperson person criticized this assement, saying that Bush was "no where near Mount St. Helens."
Cheney, Edwards to Meet in Only Debate
Sorry WWE fans, no deathmatch, only debate.