Sunday, September 12, 2004

This election is giving me a sinking feeling...

Rhetoric nastier 50 days ahead of US presidential vote
Democrat presidential candidate John Kerry, is displeased with recent ads designed to discredit his War service, but said in a recent interview that was sure his campaign would bounce back. "You know, I've been in worse situations in my life," Kerry said, again alluding to his highly decorated tours of duty. Kerry's three purple hearts have come under intense scrutiny, with some wondering if he was actually awarded three "yellow bellies." Whitehouse spokesman Scott McClellan responded to attacks on Bush's military record on Friday. "The democrats are determined to throw the kitchen sink at us, and I suspect this is just the beginning," he said, predicting spatulas and meat thermometers would be next in coming.

Victorious on Gun Ban, NRA Looks Toward Elections
According to some reports, the NRA has nearly decided on which candidate they will be supporting in this year's election. Despite a late push by some to support the Terminator and Rambo of the newly formed Block(head) Party, it seems that the Bush/Cheney ticket may be a more likely choice. "It's pretty clear where gun owners that care about their guns are going," LaPierre said in a telephone interview last week, referring to "Big Bob's Buns N' Guns" show going on right now in Alabama. The annual firearms display, according to the event's brochure, features "all-you-can-eat-wieners, and the biggest dad gum guns all ya'll ever see." However, the show is closed Sundays, due to NASCAR. Attendees are reminded to "bring their own 6 paks." The brochure also notes that "mobile home hook-ups is also available."

North Korea May Test Nukes, U.S. Warned
The official said there is no evidence that a large mushroom cloud that allegedly appeared in North Korea was linked to the communist nation's suspected nuclear weapons program. "We don't think, at this point, it was a nuclear event, but we're looking at it and will get further analysis, there are all kinds of reports and all kinds of assessments that are going on. Maybe it was a fire - some kind of forest fire," said National security adviser Condoleezza Rice, reminding reporters of the similar forest fires that took place in Hiroshima and Nagasaki at the end of World War II.

Powell Defends Cheney's Remarks on Attack
Secretary of State Colin Powell on Sunday defended Vice President Dick Cheney for saying last week that terrorists will hit the United States again "if we make the wrong choice" on Election Day. While commenting that terrorist threats could be a possibility with any president, Powell did provide a tip to help voters make the right choice this November, urging voters to avoid supporting Kim Jong Il, Ariel Sharon, or Britney Spears.

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