Sunday, September 19, 2004

The News

Group Threatens to Kill Iraqi Soldiers -TV
According to the fair and balanced reporting of Al-Jazeera, a militant group is threatening to kill the Iraqi soldier's TV. The television, identified simply as "Philips," is black, and is listed as 52 inches. Philips has held a special place in the soldier's hearts over the last few months. Friends described the television as entertaining, bright, and a whole lot of fun to be around.

Editor's Note: While the headline may be comical, the situation is truly sickening. Let's pray that these soldiers are released and that the conflict in Iraq may be resolved.

Defibrillator use allowed at home, without prescription
In what was seen as a landmark decision from the FDA, Americans will now be allowed to purchase defibrillators without a prescription. Many were pleasantly "shocked" by the decision. Up until the ruling, Americans had only been eligible to purchase home heart-starting devices when able to conclusively prove they were actually suffering from a "harmful" heart attack. Some doctors noted this would be a great tool for mothers with teenagers.

Bush, Kerry Reportedly Agree to Three Debates
The Bush campaign denied any deal had been reached. "No agreement has been reached," said a campaign spokesman, Reed Dickens. "When there is agreement, we will announce it."

Apparently there is a holdup on both ends. Kerry, after originally agreeing to three, has shown uncharacteristic indecisiveness and is now considering four, and Bush has voiced concerns that three debates might be a little too much freedom of expression under PATRIOT ACT guidelines.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Shockingly great commentary on the defibrillator issue.
Just what your ramblings needed: a jumpstart...