Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Good Ole NASA

Genesis Capsule Slams Into Utah Desert
Sadly, "The beginning" met its end. But for those critics ready to pounce on yet another NASA failure, not so fast. As Andrew Dantzler, director of NASA astutely pointed out, "This is actually not the worst-case scenario." Bucking the recent trend of "absolute catastrophes" this NASA team seemed to have it together from the beginning of the project, making sure that complete failure was eliminated.

However, that did not mean that there weren't tense moments. "There was a big pit in my stomach," said physicist Roger Wiens of Los Alamos National Laboratory, who, according to coworkers, got so absorbed in following the flight of the capsule, ate his entire peach, explaining his indigestion.

While considered a moderate success for NASA, Wien admitted there was indeed, Houston, a problem. "This just wasn't supposed to happen," he said, clearing up the confusion around whether or not the capsule was actually designed to smash itself into a billion un-collectable pieces and waste the 6 years and 260 million dollars spent on the device.

NASA planned to appoint a "mishap review board" within 72 hours that could take two to four months to determine a reason for the failure. For those thinking that this board should have been created years ago, worry no more. Previous NASA failures have led to the creation of the "huge disaster review board," the "why-are-rocket-scientists-so-stupid review board," and of course, the "big-ole-freaking-moronic-mistake review board," unaccustomed to such a low rate of failure, NASA needed a new and improved review board for such a minor mistake.

Wiens said the former shape of the particles collected could make it easier for scientists to sort out shattered remnants and put pieces back together like a puzzle. However, some skeptics wonder if all of NASA's forces and all NASA's men can truly put Genesis back together again.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hehe, that CJ character really knows how to crack a joke. He must be one smart cookie. I'll bet he went to PHS;)