Though unexpected, in what was seen as an necessary action, Congress today passed the Piracy Deterrence and Education Act. The Act is designed to help stop movie piracy and provide real information to those who indulge in pirating movies.
One congresswoman, on the condition of anonymity, agreed to answer some questions about the new bill. "Basically," she said, "It's quite simple - there needs to be an end to all the freaking Peter Pan remakes. Seriously, grow up already people - YOU CAN'T FLY!!! And those singing pirates? Don't even get me started. Just think of the lessons we're teaching our children! No bedtime, no room cleaning, what kind of lessons are those? Do we really want our beloved children to turn into college kids?! Hopefully this bill will put an end to this nonsense."
For obvious reasons, the interviewer felt it best to avoid the subject of the upcoming release of Finding Neverland.
The discussion, designed to bring a different perspective on the upcoming elections, covered the subject of "Dealing with Defeat." The subject was broken down into smaller segments. Al Gore covered "Losing With Grace: How Admitting You're a Loser Can Make You Feel Better," and Bob Dole covered "Tackling Tough Questions: How to ask Your Doctor About Viagra." The two also teamed up to discuss the topic "Blood, Guts, and Bananas: Dealing With Those Who Mock Your Last Name."